Art

      People romanticize the "tortured artist"; I do too. There are times when I wish that my life weren't so easy, so normal. But then, when I feel the slightest tremors of sadness and pain, of shame or embarrassment, I become paralyzed and helpless in my ability to develop these feelings in an artistic, or even a palatable way. I seem to require distance to be thoughtful and creative, at least when attempting to forge beauty from bleaker times. Yet this seems counter-intuitive to producing truthful and powerful art. Once the feeling ceases to exist in any substantial way does the possibility remain to transform or represent that feeling into anything more than a cursory recollection?  Perhaps the issue is fear. A fear of discovering or finally understanding how you feel about something. To make yourself vulnerable to yourself is an oft avoided action. It's safer to remain ignorant to the sources of feeling, but it's also emotionally and creatively stifling. Giving a voice to what has so far been silenced can induce a necessary cathartic shock. Much will remain in confusion and obscurity; that much is certain. But I feel that an artist, or anyone for the matter, owes it to themselves to take the risk in navigating the morasses of their minds and hearts.